Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
