I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
