Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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