i just made my gag reflex go away.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So many bounce houses so little time
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
