I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize