I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
