She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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