I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
