So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
