that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
