Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
