So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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