I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
