I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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