Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
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I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
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So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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