his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize