ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize