I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize