he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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