yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
