she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
