I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
