just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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