If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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