When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
you never un-have a 4some
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
