You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
