I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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