Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
