You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Damn victory sex feels great
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
