I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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