Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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