he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
