we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
