I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So much Jack, so little girl.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
