i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
