we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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