when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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