I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
