But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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