Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
