i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
