id be glad to
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
