We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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