Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
