uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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