wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
