Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
