What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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