So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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