You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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