I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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