he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
