i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
