Pregnant stripper...not hot.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
