you would pick up someone in the library
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
