driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize