i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
