I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
