babies were throwing up all over the place
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize